Your Perfect World
by Dlbn
Summary: The voice in Misaki's head has always been an influential one. An inside look at what goes on through Misaki Aoyagi's head when she abuses her son.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Aoyagi family or anything else from the Loveless series. That belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of this work of fiction. My song inspiration here was "The Best It's Gonna Get" by Celldweller. I do NOT own the song and make no money off of using it as inspiration.

Dlbn: Hey there, everyone! Just thought I'd pop up in here to let everyone know how this works!

_Italics: _The voice in Misaki's head

~Regular~: Misaki thinking

**Bold**: Misaki and the voice together

000

_ Not Ritsuka…that person, _that_ thing is not your little boy! How _dare_ he walk around here like he belongs here? How _dare_ he have Ritsuka's face? That boy is a fake! It must be destroyed! Destroy it! Kill, kill, _kill_!_

~No…that boy…he's mine…I gave birth to him…I can't hurt him! Stop it, Misaki, stop it, stop it, stop it! …But I have to…I have to get rid of it to bring back my Ritsuka…~

_Yes…your Ritsuka shall return…once this fake is _gone _for good! Now, do it! Strike him! _

Yes…I must rid my home of this thing! It's not Ritsuka, not Ritsuka!

"You missed your curfew! Ritsuka would never do that! You're not Ritsuka!"

"No, mom! Stop it! Ow, that hurts! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

_It lies! It doesn't care about rules! It doesn't belong here! Not Ritsuka! You can't let it live!_

~Not my…Ritsuka…Ritsuka is not this kind of child…this is not Ritsuka! It must be punished!~

"A child without discipline will be wild! You can't miss your curfew! You missed curfew, you must be punished!"

"Mom, stop! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to break curfew…please don't hit me!"

_Don't give in, Misaki…this thing ruined everything…Seimei comes home late every day…Aidien hardly comes home at all! None of this would have happened if _that_ hadn't come! Hadn't taken Ritsuka away! All it's fault, all it's fault!_

~My child…I can't…this is wrong…stop…I want to stop…! I can't stop…~

"I should never have had you! If you were going to become this, I should've gotten rid of you when I had the chance!"

"Mom, please, you don't mean that!"

_ Don't stop! Not until it learns it's lesson! That's it, harder!_

~I can't…must stop…Seimei…stop me…~

"You're not Ritsuka! Give him back to me! Give back my Ritsuka!"

"I'm Ritsuka! Mom, please, believe me! Stop!"

"Mom, what are you doing!"

Misaki's world came crashing back to her in vivid color. No longer was everything in black and white, the borders of her vision cloudy and obscure. There was Ritsuka, cowering behind the couch. His arm wept bright red from a cut on his shoulder. There was her Seimei, kneeling next to his 'brother' to check him over. His eyes were cold as they focused on her, his lips scowling. Misaki felt a cold object in her hands and began to tremble. Her hand opened and a knife clattered to the ground. Had she used it? The tip was colored the same as the juices flowing down the fake's arm. But she didn't remember using it…

_So close…we were so close to ridding the world of this fake. This false Ritsuka. This disgusting insect! Next time…a sharper knife…longer…begin sooner…_

"Ritsuka?" Seimei asked the fake. "Go upstairs and clean the cut. Wait for me, and don't come back down here, okay?"

"O-Okay, Seimei…" The fake sniffled and stood, before scrambling off to the stairs.

Seimei looked up at his mother, cold eyes narrowed. "Mother…how could you hurt Ritsuka? You know he's sick…"

_ Not Ritsuka._

"Not my Ritsuka." Misaki muttered.

Seimei shook his head and stepped closer. He roughly grabbed her by the upper arm. "Ever lay a _hand_ on my Ritsuka again…" He didn't need to finish his statement. The look in his eyes was dangerous, predatory.

"Yes…Never again…"

Seimei glared and snarled before leaving her to go to the fake.

_A child should listen to his mother. You were only disciplining him and doing what was right. Seimei is the one who is wrong. You'll show him! Get rid of the fake, and the real Ritsuka will come back. He'll see. Aidien will see. They'll all see!_

~All see…get rid of the fake…I'm right…they're wrong…that's not Ritsuka…I'll make them see…that thing is not my Ritsuka…~

_No it's not! They're blind if they think it is! It has no right parading around here, pretending to be Ritsuka! Being loved by Seimei like it was Ritsuka! That's not right! Seimei must see that something's wrong! He's just patronizing it!_

~Patronizing it…~

_He wants to gain its trust so he can find out how to get the real Ritsuka back! That's the only explanation! It has to be!_

~Gain it's trust…kill it…bring back Ritsuka…~

_It's the only thing that makes sense._

~Only thing.~

_Your perfect world…no…_our_ perfect world…is no more…_

~Perfect world…~

**Has been upset.**

_It's never coming back._

~Never coming back.~

_Things aren't how they used to be. They never will be. We'll have Ritsuka back, and then what? _Aidien_ will still stay away! _Seimei _will still be violent and come home late!_

~Never going back…they'll stay away…won't they…?~

_Only one way to find out. Get rid of the fake. Bring Ritsuka back. Yes…yes…that's perfect…_

~What's perfect…? This world is imperfect…~

_Smother him in his sleep. It would be so easy. He'd never know it was coming!_

~Can't…Seimei stays with him at night…will catch me…will hurt me…~

_Then wait until school is over tomorrow! He comes in the door, clobber him with a pipe and knock him out!_

~No pipes…around…here…~

_Then a big stick! A pot! A baseball bat! Something hard! Knock him out! Take him somewhere. Stab him…red…bright red rivers…flowing from porcelain skin…_

~Can't…can't…no high school tomorrow…Seimei will be here…~

_He goes out._

~He won't.~

_He will_.

~Can't…kill…Ritsuka…~

_That thing is not Ritsuka! Don't ever call it that again! It's a fake! False! _Trap! _Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Must kill!_

~Can't kill…dinner time…must cook…for family…Aidien will come home if dinner is ready…he has to…he always does…~

_Don't lose sight of the objective. It must die. Soon…very soon…_

~Yes, soon…it will die…~

**Soon.**


End file.
